Lower libido since starting birth control? Here is how to increase it again.
If you feel like you have had a decrease in libido since you started using the pill or another hormonal contraceptive, you’re not alone.
Some studies have shown a link between sex drive and hormonal birth control, finding that birth control pills can increase vaginal dryness, discomfort or pain during sex and even decrease the frequency of sexual thoughts users have.
There are several factors to birth control that might be affecting your libido, and there are steps you can take to help increase it again (if you want to). For many people, sexual health is an important part of your mental, physical, and relationship health, and your sex drive can be a big part of that.
Why do hormonal birth control methods like the pill lower your sex drive?
It may help to first understand why you have experienced a decrease in libido since using a hormonal contraceptive. It’s common knowledge that testosterone levels are linked to sex drive. Most birth control pills contain the synthetic hormones estrogen and progestin - they are called combined pills. Testosterone levels may take a hit when you are using combined pills. If you had lower amounts of testosterone in your body to begin with, then your libido could be affected by a further decrease.
Hormonal birth control may also cause an increase in sex hormone-binding globulin (also known as SHBG). As the name would suggest, SHBG binds to all sex hormones, including testosterone, which decreases their levels in your system. A decrease in any of your sex hormones could result in vaginal dryness, lowered libido or desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, and even pain or discomfort during sex. Some methods of hormonal birth control work by blocking ovulation, which may block the mid-cycle testosterone boost as well. This mid-cycle uptick in the amount of testosterone in your system is typically accompanied by an increase in sex drive.
Let’s not forget that birth control can also come with a plethora of side effects, all of which might impact your interest in sex. It’s completely understandable that you may not feel like you are as ‘in the mood’ as you used to be if you are dealing with:
fatigue
dizziness
nausea
bloating
weight gain
painful or tender breasts
depression
anxiety
irregular periods or spotting
yeast infection
cramping
increased vaginal dryness
changes in orgasm frequency or intensity
Arousal May Be the Issue
Many people, especially those in long-term relationships and/or on hormonal contraception, may experience more of what’s called responsive desire. This is like when you don’t think you’re hungry, but then you smell some delicious food cooking and all of the sudden you’ve gotta try some.
Prior to using birth control, you may have experienced more spontaneous desire, where you didn’t necessarily need an outside stimulus to start thinking about sex. Responsive desire on the other hand works best when you have a pressure-free environment surrounding sex and intimacy, a close emotional connection with your partner, and when you choose to “work up an appetite” by engaging in something you find sexy like reading an erotic novel, watching a TV show with intimate scenes you enjoy, or exploring touch that usually helps you get in the mood, like kissing or massage.
Some find it helpful to schedule quality time with your partner - without putting pressure on the outcome being sex. Scheduling time for yourself and your partner with the only goal being to intimately connect and feel good can create more opportunities to get in the mood. If nothing else, it will help you feel closer to them!
Things That Can Help Boost Sex Drive
If you feel that hormonal birth control is affecting your sex drive, then the question is: how can I increase my libido while on birth control?
The first thing to do is check in on your overall physical & mental health. Are you getting enough sleep? What about regular movement and exercise that makes you feel good? How are your stress levels currently? Taking even 10 minutes to do something like journaling, a walk outside, a guided meditation, a quick yoga video, or other small lifestyle changes could make a big impact on both your mood and your sex drive.
Here are some of the resources my private clients use to help them shift into a sexy headspace.
Next, consider your relationship with your partner. Do you communicate well with them? Do you feel respected & that your needs are being met in the relationship? Do you feel you have gotten into too much of a routine sexually? Depending on your answers it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner. Remember that the goal isn’t to point fingers, but to let them know what you need or could use support with.
Not sure where to start the conversation?
My free, mad-lib style “Let’s Talk About Sex” guide could help!
Mental health can also have a big impact on your libido. Anxiety, depression, and stress (about anything, not just sex) can lower your sex drive. Unfortunately, anxiety, depression, and stress are also all possible side effects of hormonal birth control. Getting support from a professional who understands the mental, physical and emotional factors that are affecting your sex drive is invaluable. As an intimacy coach and pelvic physical therapist, this is a big part of what I do with my clients. If you need help, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Something that you may not have considered is that making some dietary changes might increase your libido. For example:
Having lower cholesterol is linked to a higher sex drive, switching to a plant-based diet could help.
Processed food can make you feel bloated & tired, which can decrease your desire for sex.
Increased zinc intake can boost testosterone, it’s found in almonds, pumpkin seeds, chicken & shellfish.
Dark chocolate contains phenylethylamine and serotonin, both of which are thought to be mood boosters and mild sexual stimulants.
If you’ve started experiencing vaginal dryness as a result of hormonal birth control, using a daily vaginal moisturizer like Good Clean Love or Coconut Oil and lube (my favorites are Uber Lube and Slippery Stuff) during sexual activity could help with that.
Should I even be using a hormonal contraceptive?
If you’ve been struggling to increase libido while on hormonal birth control, you may be wondering if it’s worth continuing. Certainly, there are non-hormonal methods available as well like condoms, Phexxi, and Fertility Awareness Method. Birth control is ultimately a personal choice, some people who have a lot of side effects with oral contraceptives like the pill do better with IUDs and other Long Acting Reversible Contraception (LARC) methods - talk to your doctor or health care provider about the options that could best support you.