You’re definitely not the only one.
This ad-lib style guide is all about taking the discomfort out of talking about sex, CHECK IT OUT BELOW.
Dr. Rose Schlaff (she/her) created Be Well with Rose, LLC to help women and queer leaders overcome overwhelm so they can reignite their spark, step into their power and reclaim pleasure in and out of the bedroom.
After years of clinical experience as a Pelvic Physical Therapist working with the world-renowned Sexual Medicine Physician, Dr. Irwin Goldstein, Dr. Rose saw that in order to improve your sex life and strengthen your relationship(s), it’s important to take a holistic approach that addresses the physical, emotional, cultural, societal, interpersonal, and behavioral factors that impact desire and pleasure.
She speaks nationally and internationally on the topics of sexuality, relationships, communication, pleasure, and pelvic health and works with individuals and couples all over the world as a Sexologist. You may not have heard of sexology before, it’s the study of human sexuality.
Dr. Rose is all about creating simple daily rituals informed by physiology and sexy science to teach you how to amplify your desire and arousal so you can feel confident, connected, and carefree in your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.
Dr. Rose is a guest lecturer for the University of Michigan’s Human Sexuality Certificate Program and San Diego State University’s Marriage and Family Therapy Program and has had the opportunity to lecture internationally on the topic of sexual and pelvic health in Beijing, China.
Click below for more information about working 1:1 with Dr. Rose so you can release stress around sex, rekindle your relationship spark and connect more deeply in and out of the bedroom.
Cynthia went from having to amp herself up all day to get herself to initiate sex to feeling comfort, joy, and excitement in bed.
“Before, I felt insecurity in my relationship around intimacy and desire. I really was in a place where I did not and could not initiate sex without amping myself up. And that started in the morning thinking, ‘okay, I'm going to do it today.’ And now I feel like I am empowered. And I do have the ability to approach sex in a way that's authentic to me in a way that supports my partner and deepens our relationship in this beautiful, meaningful way. And I have the confidence to be able to feel sexy and to be able to ask for what I want in the bedroom and not feel shy about it. And it is something that, you know, I think I was tentative to look into and just feel like a completely different person when it comes to my sex life now. All thanks to this program.”
Sarah went from dreading sex to looking forward to connecting physically and feeling confident about talking openly about sex.
"Six months ago, I wanted to be intimate. And I also dreaded it at the same time…. For both my partner and I that physical intimacy is really important for us and helps to maintain closeness and other areas of our lives, and because we were so out of sync with our sex life, it was really difficult to talk about other things like basic things that shouldn't really be that difficult to talk about it just, it felt difficult…. Now, I look forward to connecting physically. And my partner and I are able to talk about things so much more openly, whether it's sex or just other random stuff in our relationship. We talk about everything. And I don't feel afraid to share my feelings with him. I don't feel afraid to ask him for help. I know, all of that is gone. That's so great."
Taylor went from feeling a knee-jerk negative reaction to anything sexual to experiencing the best sex of her life and a connection that feels so pure.
"Before we work together, I was feeling really put off by any sort of intimacy any sort of anything sexual. I had a partner who when she would go to try to touch me it was like reverse magnets. I knee-jerk wanted to push her away and had to basically calm my nervous system and get out of a fight or flight tell myself it's okay. Which to me blew my mind because she was an amazing partner... [Now], I'm now having the best sex I've ever had. And a connection that is just so pure. And it's amazing, truly, like, whatever you're doing is working. Nothing went how I expected. And everything was just beyond my expectations of anything I could have even dreamed."
Karson went from having difficulty reconnecting to her sexual self after having kids to feeling an electricity she hasn’t felt since she was a newlywed, pre kids.
“You know, since doing this work, I really feel like I'm showing up differently in the world. I feel like I look different. I feel shiny or I feel like I'm walking around the world like I have a secret and a spring in my step in a sort of electricity that I have not felt since I was a newlywed and pre kids."
Paige went from avoiding sex for 3+ years to feeling comfortable and confident during intimacy.
“Before, sex was really painful emotionally and physically. It was an experience that I avoided and I dreaded… we hadn't had intercourse in three years.”
"Now physical intimacy, especially with my partner is something that we talk about all the time, we have conversations about it, we talk about it in the moment, as well. I'm learning how to ask for my needs to be met in the moment, and I'm learning how to say what, when I'm comfortable, when I'm uncomfortable, when I want to move forward, when I want to pause, I'm learning so much of how to communicate in the moment and also that I deserve to communicate in the moment. I deserve consent as a process, and not just as like a one-time thing that's given at the beginning. So that's been really powerful."
"I feel like the work that we did was so much deeper than just about physical intimacy, there was so much emotional work, trauma work, kind of unraveling of these narratives that had been learned and really kind of building self-love. I feel so much love for myself and compassion for myself and deep understanding of where my pain and trauma kind of had affected my sex life, my intimacy, my connection with my partner, and that process of kind of developing understanding, but then actually moving through that process really brought me to where I am today."
After 26 years of marriage, Tanya went from avoiding sex to feeling like sex is fun again in only one session!
“Not to be dramatic, but you may have saved my marriage. And I’m not kidding”
“So before we had our session, I dreaded sex. It was extremely painful and very infrequent. And really, we were feeling our relationship struggling hardcore. Like it was we even talked about divorce. And after one session, we were able to reset everything. Sex is fun again, we're talking. We're talking not only about sex, but about our relationship, and we're not talking about divorce anymore. I just want everybody to know, this is not hard work. It takes help, guidance, it takes precision, but it's not hard, and it's fun.”
After 30+ years of marriage and multiple rounds of therapy and couple’s counseling Jasmine and Aladdin felt like they had hit a wall. During our time working together, they went from feeling like roomates, at each other’s throats to feeling like a married couple again.
After 30+ years of marriage, Aladdin and Jasmine "were at each other's throats, and sex life? There wasn't one...we've been to multiple multiple rounds of different therapies and marriage counseling and, and it was just kind of a wall. There were just no more steps. And I was hopeless, I just didn't know. I just didn't think that there was any chance anymore...." Now, they feel like they went from "roomates, to a married couple" and now have a "renewed relationship."
Nina went from having no motivation to have sex to feeling excited to explore and having FUN during intimacy.
“[Before], the amount of sex that I was wanting, it felt like a chore. Like, it kind of just felt like, I'd like to have it a certain amount of times a week, but it's not happening... [Now], it feels good to know that, I can get myself in a place where I want to [have sex] for myself and for my partner. And we're gonna make it fun.”
"Rose took me from never having any orgasms, to having orgasms pretty much every time I have sex.”
“Rose, you helped me feel like I had permission to have pleasure and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, there was no reason to have any shame, you just felt so safe. It just felt so comfortable opening up to you and letting you into an extremely intimate thing."
"After working with Rose over the past year I can confidently say I am a new woman. I no longer experience pain with sex, in fact, I now enjoy it! I feel pleasure!“
“When I started working with Rose, I had zero sex drive, experienced pain during sexual activity, and had no idea how to connect with or even enjoy my sexuality — I was lost and honestly not very hopeful.
I had seen several doctors who had told me it was all in my head. BUT! Then I found Rose. After working with Rose over the past year I can confidently say I am a new woman.
I no longer experience pain with sex, in fact, I now enjoy it! I feel pleasure!
It's such a liberating feeling to be able to write this. I can now connect with my body in a whole new way and have been able to, with Rose's help, explore new aspects of my sexuality without shame.
My sexual relationship with my partner and with myself is so much better. Because of Rose, I feel that I can continue to embrace my body and my pleasure, as an everchanging and empowering journey. Thank you, Rose, for changing my life (and my vagina's) for the better."
“She helped equip me with some great tools on self-talk, self-compassion, dealing with anxieties, and communication tools for my relationship. I’m so grateful for my time with Rose!”
"Rose changed my life!!! She genuinely cares about you as a person and deeply believes in your ability to heal. There is indeed happiness, love, great sex, and healing on the other side of pain. Thank you, Rose, for everything!"
"Rose changed my life!!! I am so grateful for her. I sought out her help when I was about one year postpartum and having pain during sex and vaginal exams. The pain was so severe, an OBGYN suggested I get numbing shots to “fix” the problem!
Thank God for the work Rose did with me. Her coaching helped me heal mental and emotional blocks I did not even realize were there. In our sessions we addressed everything from the impact vaginal birth had on my body, to digestive issues, to my views on pain, and so much more. Rose is an incredible person and the best pelvic specialist around!
She genuinely cares about you as a person and deeply believes in your ability to heal. I am forever grateful for all I’ve learned from her. There is indeed happiness, love, great sex, and healing on the other side of pain. Thank you, Rose, for everything!"
“Rose is amazing! [She] truly changed my perspective on love, sex, and my own body. Thank you so much, Rose, can’t wait to work with you again!”
"Prior to working with Rose, I wanted a new body. I felt anxious every time my husband touched me because I didn't want it to lead to sex. Sex felt like a chore, I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Now, I love and appreciate my body and I finally feel confident having sex. I highly recommend Rose, I wish I had found her years ago.”
“Rose is an extremely kind, empathetic, impactful, and sensitive practitioner who was an absolute breath of fresh air. She appreciates and recognizes the holistic treatment of pelvic pain, and that pain cannot be compartmentalized to just the muscles in the vaginal region, but also the mind, digestion, hormones, etc.
Prior to working with Rose, I felt extremely isolated in my pelvic pain. I felt hopeless and unsure of who to or how to ask for help. I also felt like I would never get better and must accept the pain as my "normal." I wanted a new body. I felt anxious every time my husband touched me because I didn't want it to lead to sex. Sex felt like a chore, I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. As soon as I met Rose, I felt so relieved that I was not broken after all, and that my issue could be corrected somewhat easily. I felt hopeful for my future and my relationship with my husband.
Working with Rose helped me recognize that I am in control of my body, and not the reverse. I can change the thoughts and pain signals by breathing, visualizing, and talking to my body. This seems so simple but yet was so profound to me. Now, I love and appreciate my body and I finally feel confident having sex and seeing a gynecologist for a routine checkup.
I highly recommend Rose, I wish I had found her years ago. - Liz, 29, San Diego, CA"
“It’s been 4 months since my session with Rose and the results have been incredible. Thank you Rose for being such an amazing resource to women in our community! I am sending all my friends your way!”
"Immediately upon meeting Dr. Rose and looking into her eyes I felt a safe space, a nonjudgmental and open presence that I knew I'd feel comfortable opening up to. She gave me a 4 step action plan to discovering myself, identifying my inner needs, and addressing them fully. She is the definition of a sage. We need her! ”
“I had never talked to a professional about details of my sex life because I always felt it was intimidating or awkward but it was a very pleasant experience with her. She is super approachable and has a friendly and very therapeutic personality. If you are having any concerns in this department, I highly recommend consulting with her!”
“I have been inspired, informed, and uplifted from my sessions with Dr. Rose. Her intelligence goes beyond textbooks and she is truly gifted in her line of work. She is genuine and has helped me beyond my expectations. Words cannot express my deep gratitude.”
