You may have been told that in order to have great sex, you just need to:

• Try some wine and lube

• Try talking dirty

• Schedule sex

• Just do it

• Try new positions

• Buy yourself some lingerie

• Eat oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries

But you’re frustrated, it feels like none of those things seem to consistently move the needle in helping you feel in control of your libido so you can feel excited and open to intimacy.

Many people tell me:

• I’ve already checked my hormones and they’re normal

• I do yoga and am gluten-free and dairy-free

• I work with a yoni egg

• I masturbate

• I get waxed

• I do kegel exercises

• I listen to sex podcasts

• I schedule date nights and have even gone to couple’s counseling

It feels like I’m doing all the right things so why does my sex drive still feel so unpredictable? Why do I feel like I have to try so hard to get in a sexy headspace??

Maybe you’ve even begun to tell yourself:

• “I’m just not a sexual person anymore, I’m a mom and a wife now,” or

• This is just what happens when you are in a relationship 5, 15, or 30+ years, or

• It will get better with time on its own or

• When my schedule calms down and life is less busy our sex life will work itself out

  
  

But here’s the thing…

Does this sound familiar?

• Every time your partner initiates sex, it never feels like the right time: 

  • You feel exhausted

  • You’re touched out

  • You’re just trying to watch real housewives in your sweatpants in peace.

• At times, you feel like you have to choose between precious relaxation and self-care time or time with your partner sometimes you even feel resentment creep in even though you wish you didn’t.

• You want sex to feel like an exciting treat at the end of the day, not one more thing someone needs from you.

• Sometimes you even notice yourself avoiding activities that might lead to sex like cuddling or kissing because you just don’t have the energy to see that disappointed look on your partner’s face when you say no, even though you know they’re trying their best not to show it.

• When you do get into it, you enjoy it but it can feel a bit routine and sometimes even find your mind wandering during, wondering if you ever put that laundry in the dryer, it makes you feel guilty like your partner can tell you aren’t fully present.

• Your relationship feels so in sync outside the bedroom so why is it so hard to figure out how to get on the same page about sex?
  
  
  
  

It’s not fair that sex is draining your energy and contributing to stress and distance in your relationship, you deserve to feel ease and excitement around intimacy.

I know how frustrating it can be when you and your partner are on different pages. 

• Like when you’re getting into bed after a long day and you get a knot in your stomach when your partner starts kissing you because you know they’re about to initiate sex and you’re tired of rejecting them

• Or when it’s been a week… or maybe 4 since y’all got busy and things have felt a bit disconnected and tense between you two lately and you’re worried you two will start to feel like roommates. 

  
  
  

  
  YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

The thing is, sex and desire can be complex and difficult to navigate on your own.

I want you to know,

EVERY PERSON IS CAPABLE OF REIGNITING THEIR SEXUAL SPARK AND CREATING A RELATIONSHIP FILLED WITH LASTING PASSION AND DEEP CONNECTION. 

It’s available to you too if you want it. 

Because after spending the last 5 years helping women and queer folks reconnect to their sexual selves using simple evidence-based practices based on the physiology of human desire…

So if this is possible, why are so many women and queer folks feeling like sex is just one more thing on their to-do list, draining their energy and creating stress in their relationship even when they feel like they’re trying all the right things?